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Anger Management – Six Tips for Getting Your Anger Under Control
By Marelisa Fabrega
Anger is a normal and necessary emotion. It’s your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong. For example, you might get angry when a car swerves in front of you in traffic because it’s dangerous and could have resulted in an accident. Anger is also your body’s response to an unmet need, expectation or belief. If you feel that you and your spouse should share the housework, you’re likely to get angry if they’re constantly forgetting to help out with the chores. However, even though expressing anger appropriately is a healthy response to situations which are perceived as threats, anger that is expressed inappropriately, or anger that is suppressed, can lead to a host of problems. Below you'll find six tips to help you manage your anger, so that you can deal with it appropriately and respond to anger-provoking situations effectively. 1. Revisit your childhood memories. Think back to how you watched others respond to anger when you were a child. Ask yourself if, as an adult, you’re expressing anger in the same way in which you watched grown-ups deal with anger during your childhood. Now question those techniques and ask yourself if they’re the best way to respond to anger-producing situations. 2. Withdraw from the situation. If you feel yourself getting upset in any given situation, see if you can remove yourself from the situation until you can calm down. This can mean taking a bathroom break and splashing some cold water on your face, or going for a walk. If you can't leave, try counting down from ten to one before you respond. 3. Make sure you're perceiving the situation accurately. Sometimes we get angry because we've misinterpreted a situation or someone else's actions, or we've framed things in a way that makes us feel bad. The next time you get angry ask yourself the following questions about your interpretation of the situation: - What evidence am I relying on?
- What assumptions am I making?
- Is there another equally believable interpretation of what is going on here?
- How else can I look at this? 4. Get physical. Physical activity is a great way to release the excess energy generated by anger. Go to the gym and take your frustrations out on a punching bag. You can also challenge a friend to a game of tennis, go hiking, or participate in any other sport that you enjoy. 5. Take up meditation Meditation allows you to relax deeply which will help you reduce the potentially damaging physical tension and psychological stress caused by anger. It also allows you to regain control of your thought process instead of allowing your thoughts to run freely and continue to feed your anger. 6. Practice assertiveness. A lot of people don’t know how to express their needs effectively, which means that others won't be able to help them get their needs met. Assertive techniques include focusing on the issue that is bothering you, expressing how it is affecting you without becoming defensive or attacking the other person, and describing what you would like from the situation. Start applying the six tips above to situations which make you angry in order to regain control over your anger. Managed appropriately, anger can be a powerful ally.
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